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A Colorful Approach |
"The
True Colors workshop by Mary Miscisin provided
me
with the
ability to be a better communicator, who
better connects with all types of communicators!
Thanks!"
- Vickie Baughman, Golden
Valley Unified School District |
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True Communication with True Colors
by Mary Miscisin
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"I know you
think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm
not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I
meant." |
Have
you ever tried to communicate something to someone and it
just didn't come out right? Or perhaps you thought it came
out right but they took it wrong? Why is it that communication
flows so smoothly with some while with others it can be bumpy
and frustrating? Of course the mood you are in, your relationship
with the person, (boss to subordinate, spouse, best friend…)
and your background, such as education or expertise in an
area, will have an influence on the way you communicate-but
there is something more. The way you communicate with others
has a great deal to do with your basic personality.
We all
have a blend of characteristics that make up our personality.
These characteristics have an effect on the way we communicate.
Although there are numerous systems for explaining our behaviors
and the origins of our personalities, the True Colors communication
model is one of the easiest to remember and most fun to apply.
Following are some general descriptions of the communication
styles of the four colors in the True Colors model. Read over
the descriptions and determine which one is closest to your
particular style.
BLUE COMMUNICATION
A Blue's world revolves around people, relationships, and
fostering growth in themselves and others. When speaking,
they first focus their attention on establishing a relationship
or reconnecting with the person. The information they wish
to convey is woven into this relationship-building endeavor.
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Friendly,
Helpful, Empathetic |
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Optimistic |
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Expressive
with Emotion |
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Fostering
or Maintaining Harmony |
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May
use metaphors to embellish points |
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TIPS
FOR COMMUNICATING WITH BLUES
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Acknowledge
Them |
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Show
Appreciation |
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Include
them |
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Have
patience |
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Don't
"bark" orders |
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GOLD
COMMUNICATION
Golds are generally respectful and responsible. They listen
for details so they know what their part is. They usually
size up a situation for what would be most appropriate before
responding.
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Purposeful,
Plans Ahead |
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Respectful,
Appropriate |
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Supportive
of Policies and Rules |
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Detail
Oriented, Chronological |
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Loyal,
Devoted |
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TIPS
FOR COMMUNICATING WITH GOLDS
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Be
Prepared, Give Details |
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Stay
on Target, be Consistent |
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Show
Respect |
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Don't
Interrupt |
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Recognize
Their Contributions |
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GREEN
COMMUNICATION
Greens for the most part, communicate for the purpose of gaining
or sharing information. During a conversation, their attention
is usually focused on the matter at hand, not on the relationship.
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Logical
and Objective |
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Includes
Facts and Information |
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Big
Picture, Conceptual |
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Questioning,
Critiquing |
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Wry Sense
of Humor |
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TIPS
FOR COMMUNICATING WITH GREENS
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Allow
Them Time to Ponder |
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Skip
the "small talk" |
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Avoid
Redundancy |
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Give
Big Picture or Point first, then fill in details if asked |
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Don't misinterpret
their need for info as interrogation |
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ORANGE
COMMUNICATION
Generally, Oranges want to share their opinion the minute it
hits their mind. Interested in taking action and being expedient,
they may skip the softeners and go straight for the "punch-line".
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Casual,
Playful |
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Spontaneous,
Now Oriented |
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Fast-Paced,
Changes Subjects Quickly |
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Straightforward |
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Active, Involved,
Mobile |
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TIPS
FOR COMMUNICATING WITH ORANGES
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Use
"Sound Bites" |
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Move
with Them While They Multitask |
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Appreciate
Their Flair |
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Allow
Options and Flexibility |
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Lighten
Up |
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Identifying
your style and those of others gives you insights to help
you improve communication. Instead of trying to get others
to change, recognize what you can do. The next time you have
an interaction with another person, notice what style is most
dominant for them. Remember the suggested tips and experiment
with which ones work best with each individual. Like learning
to drive, it gets smoother and more automatic with practice.
Mary Miscisin is the author of
SHOWING OUR TRUE
COLORS -
A Fun, Easy Guide for Understanding and
Appreciating Yourself and Others.
(c)
2002 Mary Miscisin, All Rights Reserved.
www.PositivelyMary.com
Permission to
duplicate this article is granted ONLY with the copyright and
contact information intact.
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COMMUNICATING ACROSS THE SPECTRUM
No
matter what color style is dominant for a person, or the order
of one’s spectrum, there are certain communication skills
that are helpful to everyone. Learning and using these skills
will enhance your interactions and allow you to communicate
more easily effectively and eloquently with nearly anyone you
encounter:
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Pause
and Pay Attention |
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All too often we enter into an exchange with our own goals
so much in front of our face that we are unable to see
past them to the other person. Momentarily setting aside
your own goals will help you clear the way for better
communication.
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Be
prepared to adapt |
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If you always expect others to learn your way of doing
things, be ready for some challenging times. As in any
successful relationship, there is give and take. How flexible
can you be to get the result you are after? |
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Look
for the positive intention behind the behavior |
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Instead of focusing on whether or not the behavior of
someone is appropriate, realize that people act in certain
ways for their own “good” reasons. Their reason
may only be beneficial or positive from their perspective,
but they somehow feel justified or “right”
nonetheless. Some individuals are not able to access resourceful
ways of dealing with challenges as easily as others. Open
your mind to dealing with the situation at hand by realizing
that the other person is trying to get some need met.
See if you can figure out what it is.
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Learn
from the past but avoid over-generalizing |
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Learn to recognize the difference between occasional occurrences
and patterns. We are all multifaceted and do not always
operate from our dominant color style. So pay attention
to the current situation. Look at, listen to and experience
the other person before proceeding. |
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There
is no such thing as failure, only results! |
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Every situation is useful. Even if you dislike the results,
the knowledge you gain from them is priceless in making
better decisions and choices in the future. If you try
something and it does not work out the way you intended,
try something else. Notice what works and what doesn’t.
Keep experimenting until you find a way—and you
will! |
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Share
True Colors with Everyone |
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Knowing True Colors helps us understand the values, needs,
and actions of ourselves and others. It gives us a language
base to communicate more freely, and enables us to appreciate
the uniqueness in everyone. Things that might irritate
another will instead fascinate someone who knows and embraces
True Colors. |
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